The Right To Be And To Belong

The Right To Be And To Belong
December 4, 2015

“When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.”
   Jiddu Krishnamurti


       I quote the words above, not because I believe in them, but because they represent exactly what I do not believe in. In fact, I believe that the above statement is the very mindset that has become the breeding ground for violence, and not the other way around. Separation and individuality and culturalism are not the breeding grounds for violence. Rather, it is the lack of appreciation of these, that breeds violence. Therefore, I believe that the more we work towards not appreciating these differences in all of us, and the more we work towards seeing these differences as flaws— the more and more we breed violence. It is in fact the type of thinking above that we need to do away with, in order to do away with violence. We are all different, and none of us will ever be the same, though some of us share cultures and beliefs. And this is okay. This is what makes the world beautiful.
       We are all united by the fact that we are all different. We are united by the fact that we are comprised of many colours, many cultures, many beliefs, many names, many last names, many neighborhoods, many cities, many states, many nations, many continents, many stories, many memories, many dreams, many goals— they’re all different, we’re all different! If we were all the same, and if purple was the same as pink and pink the same as green and green the same as red and red the same as black and black the same as white, if everything were all the same, then tell me, why would life be any worth living?
       It is the very differences that we speak out against and that we fight to blur and to eliminate, that are the reasons why we are beautiful as a human race! And these differences are never going to really blur, they are never going to become one, we will not ever have just one culture, just one color, just one dream, just one story, just one city... that is never going to happen! And yet, we crucify ourselves and each other for living in our reality, in a reality that is crafted by the hands of divine design and that is meant to be joyful, colorful, beautiful! It is not the differences that separate us; it is not the separation that divides us; it is not what divides us that causes violence and strife. On the contrary, our differences are what give us our beauty; the separations between us are what gives us oceans to cross; it is what divides us that gives us the reasons to have a place to call home!
       The error of this age, lies not in the fact that we lack the ability to see that we are one; rather, the error of this age lies in the fact that we lack the ability to see the beauty in the ways that we are different, and to accept and appreciate those differences, to celebrate those differences, to elevate those differences as items of admiration!
       You want to kill him, because you believe that all people need to be the same, and yet, why is he not the same as you? They want to kill you, because they believe that you ought to be as they are, and yet, why are you not as they are? Then something must be wrong, “sameness” must be created, thus, all differences must be eliminated! And if those differences cannot be eliminated, then they must eliminate you! People want to kill other people, because they cannot change other people. But I have a secret to tell all of you! And this secret is that no man and no woman needs to be the same as any other man, as any other woman. You do not need to be the same as them, and they do not need to be the same as you! You will in fact always be different from one another— that is okay, that is good, that is beautiful!
       Look at all the reasons why we are different! Look upon them! They are the reasons why we are beautiful, they are the reasons why this planet is worth traveling, is worth exploring; they are the reasons why falling in love is an adventure! They are the reasons why we dream, why we wander, why we crave! Our differences cannot be denied, because they will always be there. Our elements of separation cannot be scorned, because they are what make life worth traversing! The borders that divide us, are not evidences of violence and misunderstanding; rather, the borders that divide us are the evidences of what we have been able to grow, to nurture, to rise! They are our evidences of what have been overcome in the past, what we are overcoming now, and what we may reform in the future! But they are ours, all the same. Our homes are ours, all the same. Your home is your home just as much as my home is my home. Your culture is your culture, just as much as my culture is my own. It is okay that you have your home and it is okay that I have mine. And if I want to find a home in yours, then I will do my best to respect what is yours, to adapt to what is yours, to learn and to appreciate what is different from my own. And you will do the same, with me.
       Let no man or woman tell you, that we need to be the same. It is okay that we are not the same. What we do need, is to see our differences as elements worth appreciating and respecting. I have no more right to be different from you, than you have the right to be different from me. Our right is equal, and in that, we are equal. We are not equal because we are all the same— that is simply untrue— but we are equal because we all have the equal right to the things that make us unique, that make us ourselves, that make us know where we belong. It is in fact those things that point out how different we are, that are also responsible for defining our sense of belonging and the places and the people we call home.
       I am a multiculural individual, and because I am a multicultural individual, I am actually a culturalist. Because I am so aware of the value of having a sense of belonging, I am aware that the sense of belonging is something prized and to be upheld. It is difficult for me to immediately say that I know where I belong, and because of that, I am painfully aware of the value of being able to immediately know where and to whom you belong. I am a culturalist, because I believe in the right that every individual has, to his/her own culture, own way of thinking, own lifestyle. Culture, lifestyle, and personal beliefs, are the three things that should not be tresspassed by another. If another would like to become a part of that, then they should be welcomed. But when they are welcomed, they should endeavour to make it there own, they must endeavor to respect and to appreciate, just as much as they respect and appreciate what is natively their own.
       Love does not exist in the act of diminishing those things that define us; rather, love is enacted through respecting and appreciating those things that define each of us. Every man and woman has the right to their own culture, in their own home, in their own church (or absence of church). Let no other individual or group of individuals, attempt to destroy or to alter that.
        I believe that until we stop trying to all become the same as everyone else, or to make everyone else the same as us, there will always be the violence that is falsley proclaimed to come from acknowledging our differences and appreciating our uniqueness. I would want to call out to all people, to do the opposite of what is encouraged that we do, I want to call out to all people, to allow others to be who they are, with the knowledge that you must also be allowed to be who you are, and that your home must be respected no less than how their home must be respected.
       It is true that we are all citizens of this world; however, if this world were filled with identical citizens, then I don’t see why it would be a world worth staying in. Being a citizen of the world does not equate to being someone with no home, no identity, no culture and no creed. The world is a colorful place, and we are making all those colors, we are all those colors. Let’s see this, let’s understand this, and please, let’s love this.
       I just want to close this piece, by saying thank you to Mélanie Berliet, Heidi Priebe and Noelle Beams, for welcoming me to Thought Catalog, and for arranging my stay here. I am happy to be welcomed here and I am happy to join the Thought Catalog Team. I’m also thankful and glad to meet all of you, my new readers. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read what I write, and I am glad that you are here.



Death and Truth

       I used to think that it wouldn't be wise to love a man with all my heart, because if he were to die, I would die along with him. It would hurt too much to lose him. It is only after experiencing the death of a loved one up-close for the first time (someone I used to see every day, for years, up until his dying day), that I have come to see the truth, and that truth is, that when we love someone, we must love them with everything we have and with all of our hearts, because when they die, we won't be thinking about how we gave too much or how we lost too much— we will only be thinking about what more we could have done, to let them know we loved them. And my previous thoughts were with regards to loving a man in life (a life partner); and the one who passed away was not my life partner (thank God), notwithstanding, my eyes were opened to the truth, the very same. I am able to feel from all angles, including the feelings of the other people involved, and so thankfully, I am able to learn very much.
       In our daily lives, we all focus so much on protecting ourselves from getting hurt, we are all so afraid of the pain that comes with giving too much and being shortchanged or slighted in return. We're afraid of pain, because it hurts, but what we don't immediately realise, is that pain is just another feeling, and when someone dies, that feeling becomes no more important than all the other feelings that you shared with regards to that person! When a person dies, it comes down to two things: whether you are able to say, "I loved that person in every way possible that there is for a person to love another"; or, whether you must truthfully tell yourself, "I was afraid of getting hurt, I was afraid of giving too much, I couldn't forgive this...I couldn't forgive that..." it is true that the things we are going to regret at the end of our lives (or at the end of the life of a loved one or of someone we are in love with), are not the ways in which we were hurt! But the things that we are going to regret are the ways in which we held back, in which we thought of ourselves first; the ways in which we doubted too much and for too long, the ways in which we were afraid of being shortchanged... all the ways we didn't love and we didn't get hurt because we didn't let ourselves care enough to get hurt— those are things we will regret for the remainder of our own lives here on Earth!
       We live in a society that teaches and advocates— so much and all the time— about the importance of "not being needy", of "not being clingy", of "not receiving the shorter end of the string". We are taught and bombarded, from left and from right, on Facebook and on LinkedIn every day— all of these principles that are not what life is all about! The truth is that we are all needy! And we ought to show it, too! We ought to be what we are! Why wouldn't we be needy? From the moment we are born, we need our parents (or guardians) in order to survive! We need friends, we need our teachers at school, we need people to listen, to empathise with us, to give us a helping hand... we need people to play with as children, and to grow with as adults! We neeeeeeed! We are all needy! The world consists right now of two kinds of people: needy people who are brave enough to show it, and needy people who are afraid to show it (or conditioned too much into thinking they shouldn't show it).
       The most needy person I ever met, was a friend of mine, a man who didn't believe in relationships and who slept around with women left and right, who condemned every woman the moment she began expressing a need for him, the moment she would begin to express jealousy and concern. The moment he felt like the women he was sleeping with were beginning to need him— he left them. Period. But he was himself incredibly needy, always in need of constant contact, constant stimulation, constant ear to hear his innermost aches and pains... I suppose people hate in others, what they actually hate the most about themselves. 
       We are all needy and beautiful at the same time, and I can't think of a more beautiful way for human beings to live their lives, than to live with the acceptance of this fact. People today are running away from the truth, every day and all the time. People today feign happiness, but never really have it with them. Perhaps it passes them by; nevertheless, they don't hold it within their hands.
       Why are people not being taught to love as much as they can, because there is no shame in love? There is no shame in love! Whether you love a person worthy of you, or you love a person who wasn't worth it— the worth of your love given, is never diminished by another! And I am not saying this to advocate staying with someone who does not love you in return, or who does not value you; but I'm saying this to stress that even in the event that you love someone not worthy of it, that would not make your love unworthy as a result. Other people's value does not dictate the value of our love, because only we can dictate the value of our own love. And there is no shame in need! Everyone is needy! Some people just aren't brave enough to know it! If we all knew and accepted how needy we are, and other people are, we would live life with open arms, open hearts, and with so much more compassion!
       Why are people always being taught how to protect themselves from love, how to manipulate someone into loving them, how to not be real, how to not be pure? Why? Because I tell you, when a person dies, it is very real, and all that's left is what's real.  There are seven billion people on the planet, and yet, billions of people cannot find someone to come home to!
       I want you to remember, that when someone you love is lying in their coffin (God forbid this occurrence), you are going to want to be able to say, "I did everything in my power to love this person, there's nothing more I could have done to love this person", because in that moment, you will know what it means to hold victory within your heart, you will know what it means to be a conqueror of life, you will know that you have loved, and that there is no shame in loving. I hope to love someone like that, but I also hope to be loved like that, the same (or more). Because there is also no shame in being the one who is loved more.

The Conversation of Venusta: Brightness

“What is brightness? What is light? What does it mean when a person shines brightly?”

       “When a light shines bright, a candle burns brightly, a flame roars in its serene original existence; the other lights, candles and flames think that the brighter one is going to kill them. But I have observed that this is a very limiting thing to think and to feel. And I have also learned that when you are a brightly-shining candle, your every smile and movement and thought and action is magnified— not because you magnify it and not because you are loud— but only because what is bright will be bright. And that’s it. You have to realise your brightness, because it is when you lose sight of how much you shine, that you will begin to hurt others with your light! You don’t realise the impact that you have, because you’re thinking lower of yourself. You see, sometimes humility is actually the act of the acceptance of your greatness! You reach a point where it dawns on you, that you have to stop saying, “I’m not good enough, I’m not this or that enough, I’m just like this” and you need to stand up straight into your full figure, into your full height, accept your stature, and that is actually an act of humility. It is humble to accept that you don’t have control over how much light you were meant to shine into this world, and that if you are meant to be a gigantic Roman Candle, then so be it! I have seen those who have stood up into their full statures, into their full heights, and they appear as though they could break down a tree with a single glance! But all they’ve really done is accepted... And it is important to know that brightness is not there to kill everything else around it! Brightness is not something that we need to compete for or that we need to chase after! But when one is bright and light, may we all stop for a minute to worship!”

— Excerpt from my upcoming book, The Conversation of Venusta, sequel to, The Conversation of Merachefet.

The Conversation of Venusta

“What is your religion?”

“This is a funny question to ask me!”

“Yes, it is! But, what is your religion?”

“My religion is Beauty. Have you heard them all say that their religion is kindness? Well, my religion is Beauty.”

“What does that mean? What does it mean when one says that her religion is Beauty?”

       “When I say my religion is Beauty, I am saying that I am an advocate of the process of things becoming beautiful, becoming more; of things and of people that add joyful, pleasing, peaceful, gentle, harmless, worthwhile objects, creeds, and experiences, to their communities, and collectively to the rest of the world. I am faithful to the beautiful roses, I am faithful to the beautiful wildflowers in the fields, I am faithful to the Dawn and to the Dusk. I am faithful to the harp, to the music that it brings to my ears, I am faithful to joyous laughter and I am faithful to good and pleasing food! I am faithful to the faithful lover, to the lover who makes a house into a home; I’m faithful to the innocent child, to the child who makes a home into a sanctuary; I am faithful to the trees that give us homes to live in and bridges to cross. I am faithful to happy memories and to gentleness. I am faithful to the absence of hostility, to the absence of death. I am faithful to bliss.
       I am a believer in sublimity; in paintings and in sculptures. I am a believer in marble angels and in stone gargoyles. I am a believer in the strokes of the paintbrush that can be found nestled on the surface of oil paintings, I am a believer in the freedom of the flowers, the way that colors roam our Earth, I am a believer in form and in flow. I believe in the way the Moonlight makes me feel and I believe in the way that the Sunlight can soothe my Soul. I believe in the soft breaths that escape my lips during intimate moments, the touch of another’s skin on my skin, the rubbing of another’s Soul upon the membranes of my own Soul! I believe in the movement of dance and in the music that makes us want to do it. I believe in the sanctity of intimacy and in the songs that we sing. I put my faith in myths, legends and forgotten writings. I put my faith in the consciousness of stones and in the tales of the waters. I trust in the small animals that I feed, and in the people who understand them. I trust in metamorphosis, in growth, in the way that the seed turns into a fruit tree! I trust in my dreams at night, they are more than just dreams. I am a friend to bliss, to delight, and to those who make things beautiful and who create beautiful things. Michelangelo is my Priest. Donatello is my Saint. I worship those who can take a stone and turn that stone into a chapel.
       I am the enemy of things and of people that would deceive and divide, I am enemy of corrosion and erosion, I am enemy of disease and malfunction, I am enemy of lies and of manipulations, I am the enemy of lack, of want, of need and of envy. I am the enemy of the carcass, of the rot, and of loss. I am enemy to all things that would cause ugliness and struggle in a life and in a world. I cannot be friends with those who are the cause of decay in others. Don’t make me dance with someone that is envious, don’t make me sit and eat with someone who stabs another in the back. This is my Creed, this is my Religion.

— An excerpt from my upcoming book, entitled,  The Conversation of Venusta, which is a sequel to The Conversation of Merachefet.

What Is A Divergent?

       Since I oftentimes make reference to the word "Divergent" when I write things, I think I ought to explain what that means, in context. The term (in context), comes from the dystopian novel series by Veronica Roth. In her novels, we live in a future dystopian society where all people are segregated according to factions, that being, according to exactly how people are wired to function. That way, everyone can understand exactly how everyone else (and they themselves) ought to react to situations, ought to behave, ought to think and ought to choose, so on and so forth. It's actually very applicable to our world, today. In fact, I think that Veronica Roth's novels have captured exactly what it is like, in the world, today; the difference being that she has taken raw truth and made it into literal, simplified formulas, that really do spell out how it is for us all, in our societies, right now. We are already living in that dystopian society in our minds. Her novels (and the movies adapted from her novels), play out the physical, obvious aspect of how it already goes on, on the mental landscape of collective society.
       There are five factions: Dauntless (The Brave), Amity (The Peaceful), Candor (The Honest), Abnegation (The Selfless), and Erudite (The Intellectual). All children go through a serum-induced psychological test, to determine how their brains respond to a variety of situations. Typically, they are induced into hallucinations and their reactions to situations are monitored on-screen. Depending on how they save themselves in certain situations, how they deal with what's presented to them— they are then placed into whichever faction they belong to. Now, Divergents are the ones who break all the known ways of handling the tests. Divergents are all five of the factions put together, and they are considered outcasts, they are considered as threats, and are hunted down for the kill. A Divergent knows when to be brave, when to be peaceful, when to be honest, when to be selfless, and when to exercise intelligence. Albeit, they may struggle with exactly when each quality is needed, but then that's all just a part of growing up and becoming! The bottom line is that, all of their faculties are fully-functioning and they are not circumnavigated by any single one of those faculties. They are not limited or bound by their selflessness because they also know when to fight back; they are not limited by their urges to fight because they also know how to be peaceful; they are not duped by their own honesty because they have the intellect enough to know when to hold their tongues, and so on and so forth. When put in a situation where the only obvious choices would be to either die or to fight back, a Divergent could easily take an alternative path, for example, jump into the canal and swim to safety, to avoid both death and fighting (fighting would result in major injuries). And that's just one small example of how a Divergent would deal with a scenario. In other words, a Divergent would be able to pull upon other faculties outside his/her own expected "faction" of behaviour, in order to apply the most applicable action, to garner the most beneficial and favourable outcome.
       When I watched the movies, I knew I was Divergent! And I know that every single person who watched the movies and reads the novels thinks that about themselves, but I really do know what I'm saying. People want to belong and people need to belong. Some just don't belong because they can't belong, because their brains want to pull on many faculties, in order to choose the most favourable outcomes.
       I wish there were more Divergents. Divergents could really push humankind forward! Imagine, we all want to have compassionate leaders; however, when push comes to shove, those very same leaders need to be able to make decisions to protect their own people, and not the rest of the world! So where are they supposed to draw the line of compassion? Because they need to draw it somewhere. On the other hand, we need leaders who know how to go to war; nonetheless, we can't have total war freaks who do nothing but spend all the nation's money on weapons and plots! We need Divergent leaders, leaders who can't be lumped into one faction and predicted according to the qualities of that faction! We need leaders who are capable of immediately pulling onto needed faculties that are applicable to given situations! But how is this ever going to happen, when the political parties, themselves, are factions in and of themselves! And I don't think I even have to explain that, do I? You have left and right and up and down and whatever! Those are all just factions. But how will that ever work? For example, you have a Presidential candidate on the right, who is 100% against abortion. I am against abortion in most cases; however, in the case that a nine year old girl is raped by her father or her brother or her cousin— or any man— and gets pregnant by that, I am in favour of abortion. It's a case-to-case basis! You need to know when to pull on a different inherent quality, to apply to a different outward situation! Meanwhile, we have Presidential candidates on the left who are always for abortion, no matter what, so as a result we have irresponsible grown ass women who get abortion after abortion after abortion, just because they don't feel like using condoms or taking birth control pills! And that's something that has to stop, because that is irresponsible and shameful! So as you can see, Divergents need to now arise to leader positions in the world, because without Divergents, the future of humanity is really going nowhere.
       I hope you now will all have a firm grasp on what I am referring to when I use the term "Divergent." And better yet, I hope this article has got you thinking more about what it means for the future of our species. Thank you for reading, and have a joy-filled day! :)

This Is How I Am Divergent

       I remember that day in Florence (Firenze), I was standing there on the sidewalk next to a gelateria, all alone. I was traveling all alone to begin with, and that day I wasn't spending with newfound Florentine friends, either. There was an old lady in a wheelchair out on the street, surrounded by about a dozen suitcases, out in the heat, all alone, and she started calling out to me! Immediately, I assessed the situation— she was old, in a wheelchair, and left with a dozen suitcases in the middle of the street, it was terribly hot— the whole scenario was very unlikely; and yet, there it was, before my eyes! And she was calling out to me! I walked out to her and she spoke to me in Italian, holding out some money in her hand, asking me to buy her some gelato from the gelateria at the corner where I was standing at before she called me out onto the street.
       I know that I am a compassionate person. And I know that I am highly empathic and sensitive. But I am also analytical and I am not stupid and I am not easily played. Though I saw that the old lady was in a wheelchair and it was very hot and she needed some gelato, I could not bring myself to take the money from her hand and go and do as she was asking me to! The scenario was too unlikely. First of all, nobody in their right mind, in Italy, leaves their great grandmother stranded on a hot day, in the street, surrounded by a dozen suitcases! Secondly, why wasn't she asking that I buy her water? Why ask for gelato? In a scenario like that, you don't ask for ice cream, but you ask for water! It was very, very hot! I could put together the rest of the probable puzzle from there— she, having been able to gauge my levels of sympathy/compassion, would then make a bigger request— that I assist her in bringing her luggage somewhere (God knows where)! And then from there I could make out that she was probably not really alone, at all. I mean, why would she be alone? How did all that luggage get there, in the first place? Did she tag them along behind her in her wheelchair? Of course not! And, you know, Florence is full of Mafia, who knows if the whole thing was a set up and who knows what was in those many, many suitcases! I could have easily been framed for pushing drugs, locked up in Florence, and detained until a court hearing! A never-ending nightmare!
       I could have helped the old lady and gained favour in the eyes of all the onlookers (there were plenty), risking my own safety and going against my better judgment; or, I could call the bunch of other travelers over there, who were traveling in a group, and ask if they could assist her, because a group of travelers would be a more unlikely target for any shadowy plans like the ones I had analysed to be possible. So, I did the latter. I walked up to the group of travelers a meter away, and I asked them if they would not help her. I explained what she wanted, and explained why I felt I shouldn't do it. They agreed that if they were in my position, they would have done the same as me, and then they proceeded to helping her. That way, if she was legitimately looking for help in the form of a simple cup of gelato, then she would get her needed help, and it didn't matter to me if I looked like a bad person or not. She would have gotten her help, that's what was important! And, if the actual scenario was as how I had analysed it to possibly be, then I had just saved myself from ruining my future!
       The moral of this very true story, that occurred in Summer of 2010, is that empathy is compassion with intelligence, and that our compassion should never become a tool by which we may be used by others as a means to their own ends that may be harmful to us. We should not sacrifice our intelligence for appearances. If you indeed want to help, there is another way to help that might not make you look like a good person, but the outcome for the one in need would be exactly the same! And that's how true empathy is measured, I believe. If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same exact thing! And I teach my son the same, as well. I hope you've enjoyed my short lecture for today, may joy be with you! Run along now, run along! :)

pocket gardens and world events

       Over at my FB Page, I had recent discussions about how I am considering to be a non-participant in the passions of the world events which cause so much mental and emotional burden. It's happened again and again— I am busy roaming around in my "pocket garden", tending to my roses and wading in my streams— when something happens in the world to shake my passions and I lunge outside of my own oasis to take up arms and war with external forces. It is the one thing that has power over me and after this recent lapse that I had over the Syrian refugee crisis, I have seriously considered to tackle this animal and to tame it.
       In the teachings of Rosicrucian Mysticism, the only true religion that exists, is the Religion of Beauty. To make yourself and the things around you beautiful, to create and to plant and to flourish Beauty in your Soul and breathe it out into your surroundings— that is True Religion! Anything that will cause the decay of beauty inside yourself or outside in your surroundings, is the enemy of your Salvation, and should be simply avoided.
       It's been written in various archaic accounts, that the Elementals once interacted with humans on a regular, almost daily basis, until the angst and cruelty of the human world caused them to recline back into their unseen world and to prefer staying there. In the Rosicrucian accounts, there are documented encounters between Bishops, Saints and Elementals such as Fawns and Satyrs. Of course, these accounts are vaulted up and locked away, only revealed through diligent exploration of old writings.
       There is one dream in particular that I had, where I was walking through the war-torn world, when my attention was drawn to a forest filled with lavender fields, so I walked through the war-torn world and then took the turn into the fields of lavender within the thick forest. The place was filled with all manner of Elemental, there they danced and laughed and were completely free of the darkness that raged just outside, with the humans. I talked to them and asked them why they chose to stay far away, and they said, that they did not understand the hostility of the humans.
       I feel that I was born a warrior, a vanguard of people. When there are catastrophic events in the world, or happenings that can shake the inner soul, instead of feeling powerless; I feel empowered! Instead of feeling helpless, I feel the most passionate and the most knowledgeable, at those same exact times. I don't feel like I must retreat; instead, I feel as though I should lunge forward! I grab my arms and I lose all fear! But then that is when I am pulled into the angst and into the coldness! I am pulled out of my "pocket garden" of roses and streams, and I feel like I could guard and lead a billion people! So for me to choose to stay in my garden, is a choice that comes with a great amount of true restraint. And I do it for myself. But then it is not only for myself, it is also for my followers who would rather enter into the garden instead of run out into a battle.
       Perhaps there is a way to lead an army and to retreat into the fields of lavender, at the same time. Or maybe there is no way to do both, and it is all a choice between the two! Nevertheless, hopefully I will be able to restrain my passions, and practice my own Religion of Beauty.

Envy And Narcissism As Explained In The Eighteen Hundreds

       Kierkegaard, the Danish writer and thinker of hundreds of years ago, is celebrated as the first true existentialist philosopher. And apparently, an avid diary-keeper who wrote his thoughts down so uninhibitedly and so unapologetically, that some of those same thoughts written in the eighteen hundreds, which I'm sharing with you here, are now very relevant, current, and applicable insights into our situations and our needs circa 2015!
       In this particular bit of journaling, he expresses so prolifically a very common human trait, which is envy, and studies and expounds upon the results of envy, which are actions that are meant to demean, to lessen, to detract from, the object of envy. Of course, the worst thing to say to an envious person, is, "you are just envious", because then all hell will break loose, especially if you are dealing with a narcissist who actually wants to make it appear to others like you are the one who is envious or you are perhaps just flawed in character or in mind!
       Kierkegaard goes on to discuss the symptoms associated with this condition, as well as the treatments of it (the treatments that he applied to those who felt insecure around him). His methods of treatment are different from my own, as I would simply ignore an envious person to death, even go so far as to acting like they are not even there! Of course, my "treatment" only exacerbates their condition. But K has listed down a treatment that is a bit more cunning in nature, which involves actually giving the envious person what they really want (or at least, they think it's what you are giving to them). Overall, this is a very valuable collection of thoughts, containing a wealth of insight that I believe everyone should read and really understand! His words here that stand out to me the most, are the following: “Showing that they don’t care about me, or caring that I should know they don’t care about me, still denotes dependence.” I think that we can all immediately identify what he means by this, as all of us have either been the victim of this type of treatment, or, you who are reading this right now may be a perpetrator of this type of treatment towards others! Actions like these are of course becoming more prevalent and more easy to carry out these days, thanks to social media platforms! Narcissistic tactics such as gaslighting, stonewalling, and baiting and bashing are all too easy to carry out on others, thanks to how smaller the world has become as a result of "global shrinking" in the light of all our social media platforms and tools. When you feel like you are purposely being shunned or overlooked— the key word there is purposely! There is a real intent being given in order to shun you, to make you feel unwanted and left out, etc. Which of course just means that there is a great amount of purpose being placed upon your existence! Which I will leave to Kierkegaard now to explain. I hope you enjoy the read and find it helpful, thank you for being here today! :)

A baby in uganda named Joybell

       I am very excited to announce that there is a baby in Uganda who is going to be named after me, as "Joybell"! This is a herculean moment, I feel, one that I feel very proud of! I send my blessings to the baby and the baby's family! May she be protected and given good fortune! :)

Let Me Show You What This Means

       Hello, wonderfuls! Today I want to share an excerpt with you, it's taken from The Asatru Edda: Sacred Lore of the North by the Norroena Society. I have the book and have read it from cover to cover, but this excerpt is from the free online version. The passages are short but there is a wealth of knowledge in here worth pondering and expounding upon. The whole Asatru Edda is like that, there are mounds of gold to be found in just a few paragraphs! The gold is hidden under layers of words that are not readily understood by people, but that's why I want to provide the meaning of this excerpt for all of you, today. Even this small morsel is enough to change a life and point it into the right direction!
       When people associate Asatru with the "White Race" or the "Supreme Race", or really just the Northern European race, of course that is understandable, as this is, after all, the lore of the North; however, to say that the spirituality of the North belongs only to the North and is symbolic of that fact— is wrong and is a byproduct of a mind that does not understand its own spirituality. I don't think there is any other spirituality/religion on Earth, that best represents the mix of culture and of race, as Asatru does! In Asatru you will find Dark Elves who marry Light Elves (two distinct types of elves), Aesir marrying Vanir (two distinct types of gods), and even gods marrying giants (two totally different species). Just in this handful alone, we have black and white, North and South, bird and elephant! And what's more, is that, I don't think any other religion on Earth represents so beautifully the blended family, as Asatru does! Stepdaughters and stepsons are accepted into the houses of the gods, as if they are their own! Same with illegitimate offspring, and even offspring with different species (the giants). All sins are forgiven for the sake of the children, and great feuds are put to an end, for the sake of the sons/daughters. I have not read about so much forgiveness and openness, anywhere else, other than in the Asatru Edda! You have the acceptance of mixed races, mixed marriages, blended families, stepchildren, illegitimate children, so on and so forth. It is therefore an ignorance of this religion, to say that it is a form of spirituality only for one race of people! Anyone who says that is merely using the religion for their own propaganda.
       Now that I'm done explaining all of that, it's time to begin the reading, and I'm sure that at the end of this, you will come to realize, that The Asatru Edda contains much beautiful, spiritual knowledge that is very much hidden, with meanings that cannot be understood easily by just anyone. But I am here to guide you. If you choose to read The Asatru Edda in full, and have no idea what you are reading, please don't hesitate to get in touch with me and I can explain to you what it means. Remember, esoterica is my own language! Now, without further ado:





1. "Faith is participation. It is choosing not to choose and turning to decide that all is undecided and awaits, eternal journey." = Faith is not a passive thing that one receives. At least, true faith is not. Faith is in fact an active participation, which is a paradox between making the choice not to choose, whilst making the decision that all is undecided and still awaits, during that eternal journey that you are on.

2. "It is influential: know that I can journey and all realms of experience are open to my tread. Share with another and they travel also." = Faith influences our journey and brings us into higher realms of experience, opening up the doors to us, doors that we would otherwise not have access to without belief. Faith therefore influences our experience on our eternal journey, with allowing us access to these realms. So it is not only a participation that receives action from us; but it is in fact also something that acts on its own, upon our lives, influencing our lives and our souls in the process. When we share our faith with another, they will also travel with us on our eternal journey, if they choose to (if they make the first participatory act to do just that).

3. "Believe that what I behold is 'just imagination' or 'just expectation' and I am moored tight to my own shore. Can or can't, real of imagined: either way, I am 'right'. The can and real are richer and connect me to a deeper journey." = Doubt is what will moore you tight to your own shore, doubt is what will maroon you to your own island, with no ship, no boat; it is what will not allow you to set sail onto that sea, onto that ocean! Referring to the things that you believe in (the objects of your faith), as merely imaginations and only expectations, is what will trap you, not allowing you onto your eternal journey. With belief, with faith, the questions of can or can't, real or imagined, are not relevant, because what is relevant becomes the fact that belief is what will bring you onto your eternal journey, therefore, that means you are "right" for believing, for having belief— in itself.

So now I will make an action of participation, in choosing to believe in "can" and "real" instead of "can't" and "imagined", because in my choice to believe in "can" and "real", I am connecting myself to a deeper journey, and to connect myself to a deeper journey, is to live knowing that I am "right". It is in fact that deeper journey experience that makes us "right"!

4. "Bliss is in the moments but the moments are far longer than what they seem. Each is endless if one but let it be so." = We find our happiness in moments, we find the meaning of life in moments containing bliss, but these are not to be seen as fleeting things; rather, these are to be seen as portions of eternity, it all lies in how we treat each moment and how we allow those moments to affect our lives, to stretch out into the rest of our lives, to linger on and to paint everything that we think and that we do and that we say.

You may be living in a difficult, discouraging situation in your life right now, but like everyone else, each of your days contains moments of eternal bliss. You may take these moments and build upon them, stretch them out over longer periods of time, enshrine them, glorify them, cause them to influence your life and your output into the world, in such a way that it will become your reality and your eternity; rather than the discouraging situation you would otherwise dwell in and see as you look around you.

5. "Once smithied, the sword is ever near my grasp. Will becomes reflexive once built. Thorr's forge smithies greater evolution." = The sword is both something that we will grasp and call ourselves "warrior" with, but it is also a symbol of forbearance, longsuffering, steadfastness, we are forged like the sword, for greater evolution! But we will also hold the sword in our hands one day, to show, that the furnace we went through, has produced a precious stone, a warrior, a diamond. Our scars shall not be hidden; but shall be worn proudly as battle scars, as our evidence of the forge, of the furnace that we overcame to get to the other side.

6. "It constructs a higher world by effort's hammer. Then Odinn, laughing, releases it all and I ascend the glass mountain to the Godin." = Through our faith, through our forbearance, we construct higher worlds for ourselves, we build our own Inner Countries (Inner Country is my own term, actually), and when it is time for the release (the end of the forge with the sword), it is time for laughter, it is time to walk on a glass mountain (beauty), it is time to ascend to the Gods (to ascend, to glory, to enlighten, to evolve, to laugh, to remain in bliss).

Link to The Asatru Edda free online version

Link to The Asatru Edda on Amazon

Link to The Asatru Edda FB Page

Orchid Children and Adam Number Two

       I've come across some really good stuff lately, I want to put them in a safe place where I won't lose them, so that they can continually be shared with all of you, and where else is a better place than here on my blog, right?
       First, I would like to link you up to an article that I had the true pleasure of stumbling upon just yesterday. The article talks about "Orchid Children". Amongst esoteric circles, you would be able to see reference to this type of person under the filing of "Indigo Children" or "Crystal Children" or "Rainbow Children". I know that the three types I just mentioned are distinct in their own ways, but they are all highly-sensitive individuals, nonetheless, and that is what orchids are all about, they are about being highly sensitive. The term "Orchid Child", though, is coined by science and not by spiritualism. It is wonderful to read what science has to say about highly sensitive individuals, and I'm sure you will find this article to be just as informative as I think it is!
       Next up is the greatest speech I have ever had the pleasure of listening to! I didn't even know who this speaker was, before stumbling upon this talk on Youtube! And now I have been blessed to listen to his talk (twice now, I've replayed it twice already), feeling like I have been given a bar of gold. This speech puts into words the observations that I have been longing to be able to put into words, and backs it with references to history and research. I appreciate this speech to no end and that's why I want to share it with you today! I hope that you enjoy reading the article about Orchid Children, and I hope that you enjoy watching the video that I have for you below. But more importantly, I hope that you absorb and that you learn, as I have. Thank you for being here!

You Don't See My Roots

       I think that there are some people who read the wonderful words that many other people have written about me/for me, and those reading easily presume that since these words are "offered" to me all the time, then I must be "full of myself." But you see, this is the furthest thing from the truth. The truth is that, the many words that have been said to me, and about me, that are wonderful, are words that were there when I needed them the most. During times when I was at my lowest, these words came to me in messages, from people everywhere, one by one, as if they knew what I was going through (but they really didn't, there's no way they could know.). The words said about me, are divine interventions in my life, and they can truly be called divine interventions, because if not for them, I might have truly given up hope many times before, and I wouldn't even still be C. JoyBell C. right now.
       I think that there are many things about other people, that are seen only on the surface, people fail to see the roots underneath the surface of the ground; they only see the flower! They don't know what the flower had to do to grow roots! And that is exactly what it is like, for me. People see me as the rose, they don't see the roots that I had to grow to become the rose. There is no way that I could possibly become "full of myself" no matter what wonderful things people have to say about me. They call me a goddess, an ethereal being, some think I am an actual vampire! Some have called me "the mother of the universe." These are all very lofty and very beautiful things; but one must remember, that the truly lofty things do not grow high into the sky unless the foundation has also run very deep. Like roots of a rose. Like roots of a tree. Any joys that I experience, have already been paralleled by pains that are unseen by unknowing eyes.

C. Bells


Intuitive Parenting

       It is very important to have foresight and insight, as a parent. I think that foresight, insight and intuition are traits that need to be cultivated by parents, everywhere. We need these things when looking into our childrens' lives and into their surroundings. I believe that the greater majority of parents make judgements about their children, and their children's friends, based upon surface knowledge. Intuition rarely comes into the picture, at all.
       My son has an eclectic group of friends, everyone has their own flaws (because we all have our own flaws) and nobody comes from a "perfect" family background. In fact, my son's friends are people I probably wouldn't have been allowed to hang out with, back in my day (because my mom was just like any other mom when it came to these things). Say the word "shit" and you weren't allowed to hang out with me. Don't go to church and you weren't allowed to hang out with me. Go to church but don't read your Bible every day? Not allowed to hang out with me so much!
       I tell my son that we are not entitled to choose our friends based upon the flaws that fit our own acceptable criteria of flaws. I tell him that's wrong. His friends are really good people, who are true friends to him at heart. When he broke his wrist, they were at the hospital worried sick (and one of them was actually crying his eyes out). That's friendship. Friendship is not the coming together of perfect people; friendship is about being true to your friend, being there for your friend and feeling hurt when they feel hurt. Feeling happy when they feel happy. It's not about choosing perfect people and getting rid of less than perfect ones. If you base friendship on the latter, then you don't really have any friends at all. You just have pets!
       There are a few people I wouldn't allow my son to hang out with, because beyond their outward facade of politeness and sweetness, they easily say bad things and lascivious things behind other people's backs. And they're kids who go to church every week! They say "please" and "thank you" all the time. But then they'll turn around and say the worst things you can imagine about other people. And they're the types that other parents would love their children to be friends with! But parents aren't using their insight, they're not using their foresight, intuition, there is nothing going on below the surface level! But I warn my son about staying away from those types of people, I tell him that we choose our friends based upon how true they are, how genuine they are, and if they feel hurt when we are hurt and happy when we are happy. Do they hurt when you hurt? Are they happy when you are happy? Then they are good people, then they are your friends.
       I encourage parents, everywhere, to use the extra senses when looking into your children's lives. Use your extra senses when making decisions that involve your children, use your extra senses when analysing the best decisions to make regarding your child/children and their environments and the people that are allowed to surround them. Don't make decisions floating around on the top of the water; instead, dive down deep and see everything that is going on. That way, you will help to plant your child's roots in good places that might not always look so great on top; but that carry all the nutrients that are needed, within!

How Do We Define What Is Real To Us?

       In this time and age when we meet people from a distance, fall in love from a distance, learn and grow from a distance, earn degrees and certificates from a distance, adopt children from a distance, learn a new language or a new recipe from a distance, earn money through the air on the internet— I am still amazed, every day, to witness those who still do not believe that these things can be real— just because there is distance! At the same time, they are eating those recipes they picked up on the internet, they are getting hired for new jobs thanks to those certificates and degrees, they are raising children they found on a website! And on and on and on! Meanwhile, many of these same people who cast doubt on long distance relationships, say they have a relationship with a God whom they will never meet in this lifetime, regardless of what they ever do; a God whose story is in a book which was written thousands of years ago, a God whose very existence is disputed by science and cannot be proven. They will never see the face of God in this lifetime, and yet, they believe they have a relationship with this same God. Why? Well it’s either just because they were born into said religions and are afraid of what lies beyond, or, it’s because they experience the touch of this God— a touch that is undeniably life-changing and life-affirming, a touch that causes them to believe that there is in fact no such thing as distance! So to them, it’s real! Because what changes you, is real! And yet this very same faith they profess, is something they are unable to reflect out upon other people, they are unable to have faith in what is here in this world, merely due to something called distance. Now, what is faith if we are unable to reflect the practice of it, onto those around us? Onto other people? Because if not, then it is merely a concept and not a reality. Merely a theory misunderstood. And where is God? Is God not off in some higher Seventh Heaven, somewhere in the cosmos? Or perhaps there is no distance between us and God, because, perhaps God is with us always. In this same light, perhaps there is no distance between any of us, because, perhaps we are with each other always. Distance is a myth, because it is only relative to time and space; and time and space are concepts only; they are intangible, therefore, they should also be called unreal. You may travel over all the distance you want and you will still not be able to reach the beginning of time. It's something that you will never reach, therefore, it is intangible! So what then is real? What then is genuine? What’s real is what can touch you, can change you, can make you breathe a different kind of air. That’s real. Hold onto that.


I will leave you with this thought:

       How do you know if something is real? That’s easy. Does it change you? Does it form you? Does it give you wings? Does it give you roots? Does it make you look back at a month ago and say, “I am a whole different person right now”? If yes, then it’s real. The evidence of truth and reality, lies in how much something can touch you, can change you, even if it’s from very far away. Distance is only the evidence of what can be surpassed.


The Five Rules (And One Golden Rule) For Thinking, Writing, And Being Quoted

       I've noticed that I have started some kind of revolution in the world! I don't know if "revolution" is the right word, but, at the moment I am too tired to think of a better word, so, this one will simply have to do.
       As you all know, at the moment I could very well be referred to as the, "quote queen" of the world and I'm sure everyone would agree upon that. What that means is, I've probably produced more aphorisms that are quoted by people worldwide, than anyone else. While I am delighted to see that I am inspiring people to share their aphorisms, thus, inspiring them to think and to reflect deeply, I would also like to give a warning about the motives behind doing this.
       Allow me to explain. I have simply always been writing aphorisms my whole life. Before I could write, my mother said I would speak the most intriguing things, and she would write them down on paper. I also remember writing in pink little notebooks as a child. The idea wasn't ever to write in order to be quoted. I just needed someplace to write them down! The only thing that changed later on, is the arrival of the internet and the invention of the blog. Because then I had a place to write them while sharing them with others, at the same time. The rest is history!
       What I am saying, is that the motive ought to be to keep track of your own thoughts, and then if people are blessed by those thoughts, then that's good! I don't think that the motive should be, "I want people to quote me."
        Sure, I did say to myself one day, "I will have achieved a great thing if my words are ever quoted by others." I have of course, exceeded my wish (thanks be to all the higher powers), and I am quoted by people whom I thought would never know that I exist on Earth! And more than that, they actually thank me for my mere existence in this world. This is in fact one of the most gratifying things for a person to experience, I think (to be thanked for merely existing on the planet) and I am so very thankful that I receive this from others, everywhere.
       I've seen people come out with places on the internet and entitling them thus so, "Quotes by ______" and that makes me want to give out some "quoting etiquette" guidelines, for everyone out there who aspires to follow in my footsteps. The biggest guideline is the one I've already explained above (to write not to be quoted by others; but to write in order to keep track of your own thoughts). Now, what follows is a set of rules for quoting etiquette that I would be happy to give, because, if anyone is to follow in my footsteps, God forbid they follow blindly and end up turning this profession into a laughing stock. If you are going to do something, then do it the best way you possibly can. Here are the small set of rules (etiquette) for doing it the best way you possibly can:

1. Never quote yourself. Oh god, please, please, never quote yourself! What does quoting yourself look like? It looks like this: "Last night I lost the world and gained the universe."— C. JoyBell C. Never, ever, ever say something followed by your name and inserted between quotation marks. The idea is to write; it's not your job to quote yourself! That's the job of other people! It's not a "quote" unless another person quotes you! And, no, that other person can never be your shadow self!

2. Never say something original of your own creation whilst inserting it into quotation marks. Quotation marks are for sharing something that somebody else said! If you do that for yourself (even if you don't follow it up with your name at the end) you'll just look like you don't know punctuation! And if you don't know punctuation, it then follows that the respect your readers have for you, will drop like the falling and fading sparks of a firecracker plummeting to the ground! I would insert a series of sound effects right about now, but, I'm too tired to think of a series of sound effects, so, just imagine that on your own! A la comic book style!

3. Don't act like you're incredible just because you're being quoted. This goes back to the golden rule I first shared above— the idea is to think— then if other people find what you think to be worthwhile, then that means you are honoured. That never means you are incredible! They're incredible for finding you out of 7 billion people in the world! So, don't be an asshole!

4. Never beg people to "check out" your "quotes". First of all, they are called "aphorisms"; they are not called "quotes" until other people call them that, because they are in fact quoting you. Don't beg them to come and read your aphorisms. Aphorisms are not a form of entertainment! They are the products of mental and spiritual reflection!

5. Never see the process of philosophy as a stairway to fame! The process of philosophy is a stairway to enlightenment and awareness and truth. If you see philosophy (the love of wisdom which will in turn produce aphorisms), as a shortcut to fame— it will really, really show! It will smell and people will be able to smell that and you will turn into a stinky trashcan. You don't want that, so don't do it. If you do that, if you do think like that, then you will only be famed amongst those with no intuition and no foresight and insight. You will not be famed amongst those who have intuition enough to smell your motives!

       I think that will be all! :) It is my earnest hope that those of you who are following in my footsteps (and I know that there are many of you), will adhere to this oh-so-very important list of "quoting etiquette" rules! And if you don't adhere to these, then you don't have my blessing to go out into the world and multiply your aphorisms! :p Have a great day, wonderfuls! :)



An Incredible Lightness of Being

       I always know the exact moment that someone in the room has fallen asleep. I have realised lately, that this is probably a quite amazing thing to know. When I am in the same room as anybody who is falling asleep, I will always feel the exact moment that it happens, regardless of what I am doing! I may be writing, reading, or whatever, but I will always feel someone fall asleep. There is an incredible lightness of being that emanates from the area, it's like somebody opening the window on a very pleasant, lighthearted day! And it's not something I try to keep my eyes open for; it's just that I always feel it; no matter what else I am doing at the moment! This makes me wonder what actually happens when someone falls asleep, to create such a lightness of being!

Being A Friendly Person In A Not-So-Friendly World

       Today I realised just how friendly I really am. I was buying underwear at F&F, when I began to greet the staff and ask about their lives; people whom I had met only twice before, because they were helping me do my shopping in their store. They were very happy to answer all my questions about themselves, and one was pregnant, and I asked why she was still pregnant because she already looked like she was going to pop the last time I was there, and she said she's giving birth next month, so I asked what she's going to name her baby and she said she doesn't have a name yet, and of course I, being the baby-naming-fanatic that I am, gasped out loud and told her I could help her name her baby! And I was serious! I love naming babies! This made her laugh out loud, and all her friends laughed too, but I didn't think it was cute or funny— I wanted to help her name her baby! I like naming babies! :)
       My point is, I didn't previously realise how friendly I really am. The staff at F&F looked really, REALLY surprised that I was asking them about themselves and talking with them! You see, there is a rotation of the staff there and the last time I saw this batch was about a month ago. But it's funny because I don't know people's names; I know the shape of their eyes, the texture of their hair, I know how much their countenance glows (or doesn't glow)... I remember people for all the many parts that make up who they are— but I most likely don't know their names. Which is a little funny, I think.
       I remember the first time I made my very first ever friend. I walked up to a total stranger on the school playground, and I asked her what her name was, and I told her mine. From that day on, we were inseparable!
       It's funny because I have never really realised how friendly I am, until today! Come to think of it, I AM very friendly! And I feel hurt very easily if someone else doesn't want to be my friend!
       How do we balance a very friendly nature with living in a world that isn't comprised of very friendly people? I am not sure if I have figured that out yet, because, I didn't even know I was like this, until now! I just know that I easily feel hurt, when I feel like someone is my friend but then it turns out they're not. I suppose the balance lies in just being friendly in the moment, without expecting someone to actually become a real friend to you. Or, maybe, the balance is more on self-compassion... if you are easily hurt, maybe you should just try to stop fixing that about you, and just have compassion for yourself and just not be too friendly to those who don't reciprocate. The good news is— there are plenty of people who DO reciprocate— they are usually the very simple-hearted ones. Like people who sell you your underwear at F&F! They're happy when you remember them! They're glad when you smile at them! :) So, I guess that means that friendliness is a trait of the simple-hearted person, but is also a source of hurt for those same people. I guess we don't need to be friendly to everyone; just to those who have the same kind of hearts that we do; or at least, to those who appreciate what we are like!

The Antlers, The Green, and The Font

       I know that by now, you have noticed how I have updated my social media branding, and that's something I would like to explain with all of you, a little bit.
       First of all, the green hue is something I would like to call "Joybell green". It's a hue of green that I searched for, for hour upon hour! I must have chosen from a hundred HEX Codes, before settling with this particular shade of green! It's green but it's not so green; it's almost turquoise but not quite; it has just the right amount of blue in it; but not too much to make it look garish. It's the exact shade of green I could stare at for hours on end and never get tired of.
       The antlers are something that I chose, for their spiritual meaning and symbolism. Antlers are very magical and mystical, as they are able to rejuvenate and grow anew, even after falling out. So, they symbolise eternal youth and renewal, as well as a quiet power (rejuvenation is power). Aside from the antlers themselves, we know that these things are attached to a deer; the deer is the symbol of gentleness, elegance and intuition. Using their intuition, deer are able to escape much larger prey in a very graceful, elegant way. They don't use force; they remain gentle, always a beautiful sight to behold. The deer is also the symbol of continual innocence and stillness; a satisfaction with the innocence in life; never does it scramble for attention, but gently it lurs attention without any thought of doing so. A deer would rather hide her beauty amongst the trees, and yet, every eye is delighted to find a deer if they can find one!
       Innocence, gentleness, sensitivity, eternal renewal, grace, elegance, intuition, stillness, swiftness, watchfulness, humility, beauty and soft strength. All magical and mystical qualities of the deer and its antlers. In this light, I have taken up this symbol as my own, one of protection for myself, and an embodiment of who C. JoyBell C. is.
       You'll know that up until now, my symbol has been that of The Three Flights (The Eagle, The Pegasus-Unicorn, and The Swan). However, I recently let go of my previous paths in life, and have taken up a new one that feels more fortified, and this is the path of the deer. And this is one that I believe will stay as my symbol, for always.
       The simple typeface I've used is called "Venetian BT" and is a typeface based upon the Venetian Renaissance printers of old, originally created between the late 15th and mid 18th centuries. I've chosen this font, as I am a fan of all the Renaissance typefaces, and also because this particular font looks light, crisp, and exceptional. It is exquisite, I think, and is a font that I could never grow tired of looking at.
       And it is with this formal introduction that I would like to welcome you all to the new C. JoyBell C. branding (it's called branding but with regards to me, the real term to use would be symbolism). I hope you are able to bask in its beauty and enjoy it as much as I do! Now, have a blessed day ahead! :)

I Find

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”
~ Albert Camus


I Find


In the dead of Winter
I found there was
Within me
An everlasting Spring
An invincible rose
A continual garden

In the midst of ugliness
I found there was
Within me
An unfading flower
Of unwavering beauty
Eternally rejuvenating

In the middle of lack
I found there was
Within me
An unending seashore
Cast with precious stones
I gather all that I like

When I was robbed
I found there was
Within me
The strength of an ocean
The depth of the sea
The most beautiful mountains

When I was cast aside
I found there was
Within me
A country of beauty
Where everyone knows my name
Even the sunlight loves me

Wearing rags
I found there was
Within me
A dress made of fine silk
Shoes set in gold
A treasure chest of jewellery

I find there is
Within me
An invincible me


Copyright 2015 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Being Kind To Those Who Are Different

       Being a multi-racial person, I know what it's like to have an incredibly difficult struggle with personal identity. It begins the moment that you start to recognize your face in the mirror and recognise the faces of other people around you. You start seeing your face in the mirror and you wonder why your mom's face looks different and your dad's face looks different; and not just different because they are different people, but rather, remarkably different because you don't look like you even belong to them! You go out with your mom to the park and people don't think she's your mom; you go out with your dad to the mall and people don't think he's your dad! From the very first, founding moments that you begin to realise you are a person and during those times that you are first developing a sense of belonging— you immediately don't belong! So you have to fucking deal with that, suck it up, and put up with all your cousins treating you like an outsider. And it's not like anyone wants to treat you like an outsider, but it's just that they are just as taken aback as you are! They don't want to share the same last name as you and they resent the fact that you get to look different while they all look more or less the same!
       I spent most of the years in my life thus far, trying to win the right to be "family" to the people that I was born related to. Until the day that I said, "fuck it" and then I became somebody, for myself, for my future, and for my child and all of the children that I will one day have (if/when I ever have any more children).
      The struggle with racial identity is the process of breaking out of a variety of social norms, expectations, cultural boundaries, cultural expectations, and even geographical boundaries. It is growing up, quite literally, a paradigm changer. A person like me is born with the burden of having to break conventionalism, from the primary years of life! We know what that means! Because we have lived it! All of you people who are just white, or just Asian, or just this and just that— you think you know things; but you only know these things in theory; you don't know these things in practice, in sweat, and literally in blood! But I do.
       Judge Leon M. Bazile, a judge in the USA, once said, "Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix." Now, if Judge Bazile were to have his way today, then I would be, in his own words, "a felony", "for as long as I live".
       All throughout history, we can witness how, just because people were born a certain way, they were denied certain rights afforded to those unlike them. And each time, God and the Bible were called into the matter. The only thing that changes throughout time, is people's interpretations of the Bible, because people will always try to use the Bible to explain why they hold opinions and why they later change their opinions. If someone murders their own child, that person will use the Biblical story of Abraham and Isaac as an example for why they did it. Really, in every situation, a Bible-believing person will come up with one way or another to rationalise why they believe or don't believe in something. Why they approve or why they disapprove of something.
       I understand the plight of gay marriage, and the joy that came along with its triumph in the United States court; because I understand history, life, and struggle. Not unlike myself, gay individuals grew up as little children, wondering why they are different. They're different within themselves and they're different from what is expected of them to be like. And to make matters worse, they are seen as sinners on the way to hell, as well as people who should be denied the rights granted to others unlike themselves. Every interracial person, regardless of religion and background, should be able to understand this plight, because it is not far from our own. We have been lucky enough to have been born in an era when interracial marriage has been mostly acceptable— at least in terms of laws of the land— people's opinions and judgemental glances is a whole different story and in that area, society still has a long way to go. But people with the struggle with their sexual orientation in regards to society, are still living within that backward era, right now! If anyone should understand their plight and sympathise with their cause— that should be us, as multiracial individuals.
       As a collective society in general and as a whole, we should all be able to act with kindness towards those who are different than ourselves. Many say that if others have the right to be different; then that means they have equal right to be different in the act of being against those who are different! This is of course, a lack of simple common sense. You can be different, so long as your difference does not infringe upon the rights of any other human being. You can be different so long as your difference is not an inconsideration of the state of others. No religion or belief system can be higher than human kindness and human empathy. If any religion or system of belief hails itself as higher than kindness towards another human being— this religion and this system is in fact false and should not be followed. And this applies to all beliefs, everywhere. The only one true belief, is the belief of consideration and kindness. We consider the plight of another as our own. We are kind to those even who are unlike ourselves or not standing in the same positions as ourselves. This is true religion and if there is any way to get to Heaven, if there is a Heaven, this is the only way.
       It is okay for anyone to believe as they like, so long as their beliefs do not infringe upon the rights and the consideration for, another human being's plight and circumstance. And that is all I want to share with all of you, today, thank you for reading and may you have a wonderful day ahead.
Back to Top